Tuesday, March 28, 2006

In the beginning, there was the Word, a Needle, and Mouse balls

Well, I kinda know what this blog was supposed to be, but it's taking me so long to actually write in it. I figure that the best way to do things sometimes is to stop worrying, and start swimming. Not a great first post pertama, numero uno, or shou zi, but we were all born naked, screaming, with a face that only your mother could love (mainly because as some scientists found out, she was high on barbiturutes, relief, and a specialised hormone cocktail designed by nature to make sure she didn't strangle aforesaid naked screaming red thing on sight).

So this it, I suppose. Just a little piece on stem cell research, that suggests that we don't need to create lines of stem cells, we just need to stick a needle into some guy's balls.

I forsee a problem with that. My crotch just curled up and cried.

On the other hand, it's kind of interesting. One of the major objections to stem cell research is that a fertilised human egg, which we derive stem cells from, is an actual human being. So we're putting it to use before it gets to be born, which brings a whole new dimension to child labour. However, the problem is that some groups feel that it constitutes killing a life. Some of those groups are sane and coherent, basing their stand on "all life is sacred." (The Catholic Church, for one.) Some groups.. are not, believing that cute ittle bitty cell clusters are innocent and deserved to be saved, and that all life is sacred as long as it doesn't belong to someone non-white, convicted of a capital crime, or ugly. (Too many to name, and I don't want to give them publicity.)

So what does the research on mice that suggests that testicle cells can be induced to become other types of cells, do to all this thought?

Well, for a first, probably nothing. It's going to take awhile to make an impact, and to get volunteers. But if it does - well, I wonder what it's going to do to Singapore. We've spent a considerable amount of money on stem cell research, and convincing scientists and companies to move here. It works, mainly because we're corruption free, clean and green, transparent business practices, with no sentimental attraction whatsoever to proto-human cell blobs. Hell, we're barely interested in fully-human cell blobs, especially if it comes in all-whities-tighties. What happens if this report proves workable, and you don't need stem cells? After all, they've got balls in other countries too.

Could be interesting. I wonder if this report will ever see the light of day again. Still... growing whole body parts from testicle cells. Gives a new meaning to "dickhead".

C'mon, you so were thinking it along with me.

The article: Mouse Testicles yield 'ethical' stem cells.


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