Wednesday, August 22, 2007

MCPs thrive on the P65

From a commenter on the p65 blog:

I am not homophobic, long back in my polytechnic days I dated a girl who is bisexual (she told me) and I have studied abroad in a country where “gay is ok” and have studied with persons with such orientation, even befriended them and if they visit this country and if I have the resources, I’d accomodate them in my home. However, to change the law concerned with them right now, is perhaps not the best of ideas because although a lot of noise has been heard as of late calling for the change, it is all coming from a small liberatarian portion of an Asian city state. It is because somebody was a part of a Rafflesian alumnus, a possible future leader of this country we cannot afford to lose, that that person chose to abstain from going anywhere near that segment of society. It is that sort of a person, that thinks like the majority of his people. Do not challenge such sentiments or Lynette, you yourself for one may not have a boyfriend for long, or a decent husband born in this country ever, unless he is bisexual.
- Harish Shah, July 22nd, 2007 at 9:00 pm


How on earth does stuff like this get through the moderator?

No, really. This is classic male chauvinist behaviour - "behave little woman, or you're going to be single all your life, and as a woman, that would be TERRIBLE for you." It's demeaning, because it in effect puts down the other party, by reminding them that they are female, and lesser.

Don't believe me? Reverse the situation.

Do not challenge such sentiments or Harish, you yourself for one may not have a girlfriend for long, or a decent wife born in this country ever, unless she is bisexual


Doesn't quite have the same punch, does it?

Of course, I could be taking it out of context.... *sidles away sheepishly*

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Thursday, August 02, 2007

Things I have said to evangelists

It happened again. Two girls, bright, perky (in more ways than one), polite - approached me in a shopping mall, and asked me if I would be interested in attending a "special event" at their church.

I've always had a special interest in Christian evangelists in Singapore. Singaporeans as a whole seem to be shy about approaching strangers. Evangelists on the other hand, don't seem to mind, in fact, they're quite happy to do so. It's something they share with those credit card roadshow folks, time-share marketeers and "Hi we are looking for model" people.

(strangely enough, students on flag day seem prepared to die of embarrassment. And block the escalator while doing so.)

Anyway, I've thought that it was quite cool that they did so - after all, it takes guts to go up and tell complete strangers that they're currently on the pathway to hell. In some sense, I envy them - I've always wanted to tell people that they're going to hell.

So let's get this straight - I admire what they do, and the kind of conviction that can get you to overcome so many years of cultural conditioning.

But to be honest, it's a hassle to tell them that you're not interested in the kind of ecstasy they're pushing. After the most recent attempt at conversion, I started to think about all the experiences I've had with evangelists.

Mezzo, age 12

Bespectacled, vaguely aware that there's going to be an exam. Not entirely sure what religion is, except that for some it means no charsiew bao, and for others, no free time on Sunday morning.

Evangelist cousin, 19, and therefore has the answers to the cosmos. She corners me in her bedroom, along with an even younger cousin. Younger cousin is Catholic, or so her mother has told her.


Evangelist Cousin: Jesus saves. Accept him. Become christian.

Mezzo, age 12: Really?

EC: Yeah. Take a look at this handy little Christianity 4 Noobz booklet I happen to have here. All here.

Mz12: But I think I'm [insert faith].

Younger cousin: And I'm already Christian, cos I'm Catholic.

EC: Nya-uh. Did you know that [prominent leader of faith] went to hell? There was this guy, see, who had an mystical vision, and saw [leader] in hell. It's true. You can trust people with mystical visions.

Mz12 + younger cousin: *looks*

EC: Look, you wanna go to hell?

Mz12: .. no?

EC: Excellent. Take this book, and the booklet, and start reading it. Younger cousin, take one too, I know you're Catholic, so you'll need one. I'm so glad!! Oh, and do you want the rest of your family to go to hell?

Mz12: .. no?

EC: Well, you know what to do! I have more Christianity 4 Noobz booklets, just ask me for them. *leaves the room*

YC: Did we just get converted? Mum is going to kill me.

Mz12: I think you go to hell if you convert.

YC: Mum's worse.

Two weeks later -

Mz12: *dials* Um. Evangelist cousin? I don't think I can be Christian anymore.

EC: Oh no, why?

Mz12: I think my family would get upset.

EC: You're a very brave kid. You can do this.

Mz12: No, I don't and I think I'm too young and you're not allowed to chose religions if you're too young. I can't even watch porn yet, how can I choose Gods?

EC: You watch porn?

Mz12: Erhm. Bye.

Mezzo, age 15

A typical teenager, trying to fit in while trying to stand out. Hesitating a touch too long at a bus interchange, as if unsure of where to go.

An evangelical surveyer approaches, to show Mezzo@15 the way, the only way.


ES: Hey, do this survey. The one that cunningly yet casually asks you your religon with other data that only exists to make it look legit.

Mezzo@15 is a teenager, looking for a way, trying to take root while trying to uproot.

ES: Oh ho, I see you are a 'freethinker'. Let me get you to sit down and ask further questions.

Mz15: Sure? Why not?

ES: Have you seen my l33t Christianity for Noobz booklet? Got one right here. Now, if you're feeling lost, that's because Christ needs to be on the throne of your life. Like in the picture here. See? There's this cross, and it's sitting on a throne. That's good, cos now there's a big circle around the cross and the throne and you, and GOD, who unlike Christ and you, actually gets his name spelled out.

Mz15: I think I've seen this comic before.

ES: The circle is like your life. It's a circle of life, but without Elton John, because Elton is gay and God hates fags. Hahah. Now, the other picture, you're on the throne, Christ is not, and God is OUTSIDE the big circle which is your life. Which makes God sad. Do you want to make God sad?

Mz15: No?

ES: Then accept Christ on the throne of your life!

Mz15: Um. Yeah. Let me think about that. Thrones.

ES: Here, take my Christianity for Noobz booklet. In fact, take three.

Mezzo, age 17

It's junior college, and partying is what you do, apart from angst. You're a jc kid, ergo, you party. Any party.

Friend: Come along to my Easter day party!

Mz17: Awesome! Ooh, movie! Ooh, guy in robes! Talking to himself! Ok, it's like he's going to die, no wait, he doesn't have to die, he's asking his father why he has to die.. eh. Think I know how this goes.

Evangelist Party-goer: Hi, person. Come sit with me! Don't worry about your other friend, she'll be sitting with my friend. It makes things easier when I break you down, um, bond with you.

Mz17: *notes that EP is unfanciable, loses interest*

EP: Hey, lookie at my Christianity for Noobz booklet!

Mz17: *spaces out*

EP: *ten minutes later* .. and here, God is in your life, cos Christ is on the throne. Also, he's the pathway to heaven!

Mz17: Never mind. Er, you know, I'm kinda already [member of faith]. And aren't all Gods one god anyway, and teach basically the same thing? We're all brothers. And world peace.

EP: No. Christ is the only pathway to heaven!

Mz17: Like Led Zeppelin?

EP: *is polite*

Mz17: *wonders if wise-assery keeps you out of heaven*

Mezzo, age 21

Still finding the way, but university's given the tools to navigate. If you're going to find your way, it helps to find your starting point.

At a train station this time, because Singapore's finding new ways too. Two girls approach, with a survey in the hand, and faith in the heart.

Evangelist Girls: Hey, survey! You're freethinker?

Mz21: Sorta, but I'm also kinda [insert faith here]

EG: Oh. Um. Could we go through this booklet with you?

Mz21: No. Absolutely not. Look, I've got friends who show me the way already, ok?

EG: Oh, which church? Come on, strike up a conversation with us, that way, it's harder for you to be so mean as to just leave.

Mz21: One of them. Thanks, but not interested.

EG: But! Save! Throne!

Mz21: No, don't worry about me, ok? Anyway, I've a friend who's going to turn up in a bit, so I don't want to keep him waiting.

EG: We could meet your fr..

Mz21: We're in a hurry. Movie. But thanks for caring.

Friend turns up, Mezzo@21 fills him in.

Mz21: They're the ones over there.

Friend: The pair talking to a makcik?

Mz21: Yeah.

Friend: They're dedicated.

Mz21: Optimists.

Friend: Christ is Hope, remember? Hey, that one's hot.

Mezzo, age 24

At 24, family starts being bearable again. You stop imagining that you're actually adopted, and acknowledge you could be related. Again, at a junction, a surveyer approaches.

Evangelical Surveyor, ver. 2: Ah. You're [member of faith].

Mz24: Uh huh. *wonders if actual prayers are required*

ESv2: Well, nice to meet you.

Mz24: *wonders if the booklet is the same colour* Huh? Where'd she go? That was fast!

Mezzo, present day

I'm standing in Novena Square, and the girls have pamphlets. I'm a working adult, almost visibly English-educated, and I look younger than I am. I'm not surprised I was picked.

The girls ask me if I'm interested in a special performance at their church. They've got leaflets, with colourful Photoshop images. For a moment, I miss that little orange booklet.

They ask me to come and listen. I know a bit more of what I am, than I did at 12. I know how to stand out and fit in, because I'm not 16. I'm not 17 either, and I know that nice-sounding concepts need to be supported by understanding and facts. Moved beyond 20, so I've done the readings. No longer a tentative 24, I can stand firm and say it, because I am an individual, and belonging to a family or a group greater than myself doesn't change it.

And I've been working for awhile, and I know what to say.

MzPresent: Thank you. But I already believe in Jesus.

Evangelist girls: That's fantastic!

Their pleasure is palpable. For a moment I feel like telling them that I don't think they understand it the same way I do. But what's the point? They'd get upset, and right now, they're happy and if I am a true believer in my faith, I wouldn't do that to them.

Maybe I should have just been straight with them. I didn't lie. Some beliefs are common to all humanity, too.

But I do believe. In my own way, and so do they. And it doesn't threaten me at all.

-------

Events described here are real, though I will admit to paraphrasing it for the purposes of coherency and to allow for my impressions to come through. I've actually been approached many more times than this, but some were less pleasant, as well as somewhat irrelevant.

To the two evangelists I met at Novena - Um. Sorry. Yes, I do go to a church in Bishan, like I told you, but when I said "church", I was broadly interpretting it as "place of worship". By the way, you're cute. Really. Are you single?






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